(Originally posted 1/1/11)
Talk about the biggest money wasting bullshit! Now don't get me wrong there was a time that I believed in it. I met my last two boyfriends on Match.com- the last relationship was almost three years. So I fully backed online dating, until now.
I decided to sign up for E-Harmony on one of those free chat weekend things as another resource to talk to guys. Since E-Harmony matches you based on the 39 levels or some shit of compatibility you have to answer a ridiculous amount of questions! Once you get that done and write some stuff on what you're passionate about you get matched up. This is what I was looking forward to. Well, of course to see any pictures you have to pay, and of fucking course the three month deal makes more sense than the one month. So I PAID!!!! And shortly regretted it! What a bunch of douche bags and freaks!!
Now immediately I think that it is a reflection of me and my answers- I can't even remember WTF I even answered! You can send your matches multiple choice questions about what they like to do on a normal night or romantic dinner, and about how they are in a relationship. VERY LAME! Well, that's because I sent questions to a couple guys and got "Close Matched" where they delete you from their matches. Then of course I get questions sent to me from the freaks and geeks (I do like geeks, just cute geeks). This site is really horrible on the ego! So now that I feel totally like shit I decide I need to fix my profile up- that's got to be the problem. I logged back into my old Match.com account to steal what I wrote there because it was good. Well, of course my ex was saved as a favorite and it showed he had been active within three weeks--ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!
I was ticked off at first then realized I was on E-Harmony which then pissed me off more because it sucks balls! On E-Harmony you can only look at the guys they match you with- there is no searching. On Match.com you get to search and look at a whole bunch of people. (TP's advice: If you are going to pay for online dating do Match.com.) The worst part is that the site is a damn train wreck! I get 2-5 emails every morning "You have a new match". So I have to look at them- I'm paying for it right. If I do see someone I like or am attracted to I don't do anything because I'm too chicken shit to send lame questions or wink at him. I just leave him on my matches page. Then the guys that look like total douche bags or losers I archive or close match. Which I sometimes feel bad about until one of my matches this very morning had the following on his profile (this is not a joke- I laughed for five minutes straight):
"It is important to disclose up front that I have HSV (herpes). I am an honest person and feel this is something that should be disclosed up front, so we do not spend time communicating if this is a "deal breaker."'
Uhhh...ya think! DEALBREAKER!!!! I have to commend him for being honest, but DUDE you are never going to get any girl to talk to you!!!
Though, if this weirdo proves me wrong I'm posting on my profile that I have loud, stinky gas!!!
Single Girl Dealbreakers:
The two failed relationships from online dating should have been my first clue to not go for a third.
Douche Bags
Freaks, Geeks and Losers
HSV aka Herpes- who knew you could catch a venereal disease from the Internet
Until the next shuffle of the cards...TP
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